Herman Cain - Caricature

Herman Cain “suspended” his presidential misadventure yesterday. Typical of his campaign was the lack of organization and discipline that resulted in an hour plus delay to do what he did to be politically dead. First we were entertained by that imbecile in colonial garb who shows up at these things. He was followed by some retired army officer    a friend of Herman’s    who seemed to claim that conservatives had a monopoly on patriotism which, he instructed us, was not to be confused with hate speech. Huh? Others came and went on the stage. Some even mumbled some platitudes.

Finally, Herman emerged from his rather tacky campaign bus that had been driven all of a mile from an aptly named staging area. We learned much from Herman.

Apparently, President Obama, the son of a single mother on welfare, was somehow more privileged than Cain and the fact that Obama worked his ass off to ultimately attend Harvard law made him an “elite.” All that arugula has consequences. In contrast, Herman the son of a chauffeur, was the real deal. Intellectual mediocrity is clearly a virtue. Personally, I have noticed that people who are too lazy to learn anything, like Mr. “Uzbeki-beki-stan-stan,” are apt to call intellectually curious people, who find out how things work, “elites.” Power to the ignorant.

We also found out that the liberal media somehow managed to manufacture the numerous women who made various charges against the holier-than-thou Herman. The power of the pen vs. the power of the pen… (never mind). Poor Herman was a victim.

Herman continues to insist that he did no wrong. In spite of considerable evidence to the contrary, and numerous lies by Herman when he first got caught, Herman insists that he did no wrong. Oh well. He got poor Gloria to believe him as well as his rather dull constituency     one of whom had a sign that read; Don’t believe the liberal media. While the sign was spelled correctly, to be meaningful, it had to read “Don’t believe all those women.”

Herman told us that he prays for advice. Herman speaks to God on the premise that God will speak back to Herman. After all, what’s an important decision in values voters land without a little prayer?

Finally, Herman got to the point with “the bad news” and dropped out of his vanity campaign that served its purpose. But there is good news     A Herman Cain Website! Yippee!! Even that is a con job (it asks for campaign contributions).

In the final analysis, Herman got what he wanted. He’ll probably get his Fox News show. At least for 15 minutes, his speaking fees surged and his books will sell. Just look what Sarah Palin “accomplished” and she knows even less than Herman. But what did his supporters get out of the deal? Wasted time and wasted money accompanied by disappointment. Of course, like Herman, they’ll blame others for their abysmally poor judgment. Maybe they didn’t pray hard enough. Maybe they prayed too hard in the first place.

By David Cary Hart

Retired CEO. Formerly a W.E. Deming-trained quality-management consultant. Now just a cranky Jewish queer. Gay cis. He/Him/His.