Riley S. Balling is an associate attorney at Fogg & Powers, an intellectual properly law firm in Minneapolis. Mr. Balling, originally from Utah, is a graduate of Brigham Young University and BYU’s law school.

Mr. Balling:

I have read your polemic in the Star Tribune several times in an effort to appreciate how same-sex marriage affects your marriage. At the core of your argument seems to be the notion that same-sex marriage has an adverse affect on children in the abstract.

Regardless of whether gay people can marry or not, the same heterosexual couples are going to marry the same people, bear the same children and, unfortunately, sue for the same divorces. Gay marriage does not alter who raises a single child. Not one!

While you would seemingly prefer otherwise, gays are currently raising approximately two million children in the US. Those are the only children actually affected by gay marriage. Do you really wish to deny those kids the stability and security of married parents? For what purpose?

You continue with:

For many of us who favor traditional marriage, marriage is about raising children in a healthy environment. Thus, any change to the definition of marriage affects our marriage.

For many gay people, marriage is about raising children (largely, those that they have adopted) in a healthy environment. Moreover, that is not exactly compelling logic. You have failed to explain how this change affects you or your children in any meaningful way. You are saying that, if my neighbor changes the color of his living room walls to gray, that affects my white living room because it is changed.

I have seen this argument before. It is usually employed by those seeking to create secular opposition out of a religious objection. In that form it is intellectually dishonest.

Since you have written about children, have you considered, for a second, the pain that you might be inflicting on gay kids? You are telling them that they are less than equal and do not have a full life to look forward to. You are also telling them that they are incapable of being potential parents. At the same time, you are empowering those who are sometimes tormenting those same gay kids. Shame on you for doing that.

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By David Cary Hart

Retired CEO. Formerly a W.E. Deming-trained quality-management consultant. Now just a cranky Jewish queer. Gay cis. He/Him/His.