Alan Keyes

Conspiracy theorist and rabidly anti-LGBT, Alan Keyes wants Trump to exercise control over social media.

Image via YouTube/Raw Story

Citing Laura Loomer as an example, Alan Keyes claims that Twitter victimizes conservatives. He wants Trump to take action. Writing about an Alan Keyes polemic is no easy task. Doing so requires patience for a bloated, painfully verbose expression. One also requires a batshit-to-English translator handy.

The current piece posted to an ultra-conservative Catholic site is titled: Trump should move against Twitter and other civil rights violators. Apparently people have a “civil right” to engage in hate speech.

Contrast that to what Keyes told WND in 2017. Keyes asserted that gay people have no civil rights and that bakers were obligated to refuse service. He encouraged people to ignore the ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges. Exactly how they would do so remains a mystery. The following was subjected to a generous drivelectomy:

They must refuse to submit to it, just as in colonial times America’s first patriots refused to submit to British taxes imposed without regard for the will of legislatures elected by the people


The Obergefell decision is a more directly treasonous betrayal of constitutional law and justice than any of those previous acts of tyranny. As ratified by the American people, the U.S. Constitution derives its authority from their sovereign will. In the Declaration of Independence they cite the authority of “the laws of nature and of Nature’s God” and the will and judgment of the Creator and Judge of all the world, as the basis for their claim of sovereignty. By purporting to extend the name of marriage to acts and relations that make no imperative contribution to the common good of human nature as endowed by the Creator, God, the U.S. Supreme Court challenges that will and judgment, treating it as of no account.

So the windbag believes that people should violate the law and discriminate against people he disapproves of but conservatives should not be obliged to obey an acceptable use policy in return for receiving a free service from a private company. The administration fails to properly regulate predatory student loan lenders but should take control of Twitter’s policies. Keyes “explains:”

She [Laura Loomer] cited numerous examples to prove that Twitter discriminates against people who do not conform to the deeply one-sided political and social biases characteristic of its corporate leadership and culture. Though they are a private corporation, if they wish to offer services to people in the United States, they are no more free to practice discrimination against people of other persuasions than Marriot, Hilton or Macy’s can claim the freedom to discriminate against people of the colored persuasion.

Keyes’ comparison is absurd but before I get to that, conservatives create self-inflicted problems. Only conservatives use terms like fag, tranny and kike. Only conservatives are white nationalists. Only conservatives believe that scripture licenses incivility towards LGBT people, immigrants and Muslims.

I am not attributing incivility to all conservatives. However, most incivility attributable to prejudice is promoted by conservatives. This subjects them to greater scrutiny.

Keyes’ comparison is preposterous. Macy’s for example is compelled by federal, state and (in New York City) local ordinances to serve patrons without discriminating. It is a public accommodation.

However, if a person entered a store with a bullhorn and screamed in the aisles that Macy’s supports Planned Parenthood (along with the usual “pro-abortion” litany), he or she would be removed from the premises — by force if necessary. Removal would not constitute discrimination because the offender is a Christian conservative.

People like Loomer and Alex Jones have received a free service from Twitter. These consumers have Internet bullhorns that they use to spread BS and to target individuals they disagree with. They have abused the service that they received and Twitter has every right to remove these miscreants from their “aisles.”

Nobody seems to inform Keyes that he makes no sense. His insane utterances include:

As a natural endowment, my skin color is a matter of natural right. According to the creed that reflects the understanding of rights governments in the United States are supposed to respect, so is my freedom of speech. I, and other citizens and lawful inhabitants of the United States, may presumptively speak and act in respect of obligations and concomitant rights arising from “the laws of nature and of nature’s God,” provided only that our actions also remain within bounds established by law according to the provisions of the Constitution of the United States.

[After referring to by batshit-to-english Android app] Okay. So?

Unlike the companies involved in making films or stage shows, however, the social networking giants have slyly induced most of the people who use their services to display their wares without remuneration. The companies providing digital facilities and accommodations to the producing public do not sign contracts with content producers to pay them some percentage of the revenues generated from their shows. People using their services tacitly agree to forego any share of the revenues generated by their activity. They labor as unpaid volunteers in exchange for the emotional satisfaction they derive from it.

That’s about the same as saying that people who watch broadcast television deserve a piece of the advertising revenues. This goes on for a few million words. It makes less sense as one continues. Keyes makes no sense. Keyes, by the way, has a lesbian daughter. She and her father are not in communication.

Keyes, by the way, was a birther. He even filed a birther lawsuit against President Obama and others. Keyes referred to Obama as a radical communist and a usurper with a forged birth certificate. Keyes is clearly insane.

For more than 20 years Keyes made a living through futile campaigns for elective office, including president (six campaigns in all). He would take a large salary out of campaign funds. Keyes would say crazy things to get attention. Now he says crazy things because he has gone crazy.

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By David Cary Hart

Retired CEO. Formerly a W.E. Deming-trained quality-management consultant. Now just a cranky Jewish queer. Gay cis. He/Him/His.