Keep this in mind the next time one of these sanctimonious people says that we are to blame for a natural disaster.

Marty Machowski
Marty Machowski

via Covenant Fellowship Church

According to lore, God has one-on-ones with individuals. Apparently, the more pious one claims to be, the greater the potential to have a little tête-à-tête. Call me a cynic but these cozy discussions seem more likely to take place when the earthly participant has goods to sell or seeks donations.

A contributing factor to these confabs is that other people tend to believe that they occurred. God told me to write this blog which provides an outlet to criticize self-righteous blowhards. Of course my readers immediately realize that I am being satirical. Possibly sardonic.

Marti Pieper does not have the critical thinking skills or intellectual curiosity of SBF readers. Ms. Pieper writes about Marty Machowski. Marty Machowski claims to be a parenting expert and — shock, shock — he has a book to sell.

Mr. Machowski’s expertise stems from the fact that he purportedly has a BS in industrial design from Philadelphia College of Art. Machowski is also a pastor at Covenant Fellowship Church in Pennsylvania. That certainly qualifies him as an expert on child rearing. No?

Marti Pieper provides the narrative:

In the middle of the night, he [Machowski] and his wife “got the proverbial call from the police station: ‘Can you come pick up your son?'” They discovered their teenage son had been sneaking out at night to drink beer with other church kids at a local park.

I am not sure that a phone call from police is “proverbial” which usually means stereotypical. Moreover, police are not inclined to ask questions. They usually issue directives. Pennsylvania’s Minor in Possession law dictates a first offense fine of $500.

Then comes the more interesting part:

Machowski says he asked God what to do, and the Lord said, “I don’t want you parenting standing up. I want you parenting kneeling down.

“You see, I had a vision [that] I’m going to be the pastor who does it all,” Machowski says. “I’m going to do devotions with my kids. I’m going to take them to church. I’m going to watch and be a good gatekeeper over their media intake. I’m going to steward friendships. I’m going to do it all to help show people how this can be done well.

“And God said, ‘You know all those things you’ve got? They’re all really good. But guess what?” God asked. The Lord told him that not one of those things started with J and spelled “Jesus.”

“‘You’re doing this in your own strength, and you’re going to take the glory for yourself,'” Machowski says God told him.

“And just like He did with Israel, He just removed his hand and said, ‘All right, you want to do it on your own, by your own means, go ahead,” Machowski says. “‘And then I’m going to come back up on the back side, and I’m going to lift you up when you fall in, and I’m going to do a work in your family.’

So God uses the rhetorical “Guess What?” Marty Machowski expects people to believe this holy con job worthy of Donald Trump. And, indeed, Marti Pieper does believe and she expects her readers to believe this tale which does not even make sense.

Remember this BS the next time some religious blowhard says that marriage equality is to blame for a hurricane.

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